Why “Never go to Bed Angry” is Utter and Complete Garbage Advice

Before you tell me I’m wrong, hear me out. 

My husband and I don’t fight very often, but when we do, 99% of the time we are exhausted, right before bedtime. We’re fighting because we are exhausted, not because of a real reason or issue. We’re worn out, frustrated, and just…done.

Instead of continuing to fight, we head to bed and go to sleep. We wake up in the morning, apologize for being buttheads, and move on.

Why on earth would we continue to fight when the only reason we are fighting is because we are exhausted? It’s ridiculous to say that we can’t sleep because we need to resolve something that is only happening because we are tired. 

That silly standard of “never go to bed angry” puts us in what I can only think the call the eternal circle of idiocy. It’s inefficient, exhausting, and I refuse to participate in it. 

It’s important when it comes to going to bed angry, that you follow these rules:

1. Sleep in the same bed.

It might be on opposite sides, as far apart as possible facing in opposite directions. But you don’t want to start off the next day divided. So suck it up and sleep in your bed together. 

2. You don’t have to go to bed at the same time.

You aren’t ready to hit the hay yet, and they are? No problem! They can head to bed, you can put on your favorite show (it can even be something that your spouse hates!), and join them for some slumber when you are ready!

3. If you aren’t over it in the morning, have breakfast before any discussion.

After you both have bellies full of food, then get to resolving your issue. Hangry feelings are the last thing a calm discussion needs. 

4. Some issues can’t wait.

I am well aware that some things can’t wait until morning. You know your marriage, and what works for you. 

What’s the best (or worst!) marriage advice you have ever received? Let me know in the comments below!

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