Broken Trust

Question on how to rebuild trust

Dear Hailey,

Advice on being able to trust again after my trust has been broken?

Untrusting

Dear Untrusting,

Having our trust broken sucks, there’s no getting around that. We pour our heart and soul into someone, only to have it smashed. But we do ourselves a major disservice if we close ourselves off from trusting again. Vulnerability is a tricky thing, because it is one thing that makes us human and allows us to love and experience the world. However, it can be hard to make ourselves vulnerable after that was the very thing that hurt us so badly.

Understand that the past is the past. It does not define your future. Not every person you come across will treat you in the way you were treated. The only way to trust again is to well, do it! Theoretically, it may sound impossible to trust again after your experiences. However, this is theoretical, and in real life, the right person will be willing to give you the time you need to trust again.

This is also an excellent time for some introspection. I’m a big proponent of journal writing, and it is a good way to discover your attitudes and beliefs about others. Lots of “I statements” about how you feel about loving again, and your fears.

Know that being hurt doesn’t make you a bad person. You are not responsible for someone else’s behavior or poor choices. Know that you don’t control everything, which is scary but also comforting. Also give yourself some time and self-care, you deserve it.

Hailey

 

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