Your advice is always so full of wisdom and brilliant insight. I really enjoy your column.
I’m 40F and super close with my parents; we chat daily on the phone. My mom and dad, married 42 years, are very much in love.
However, they have a recurring conflict. Step 1: Dad does something incorrect according to Mom’s rules (for example, Dad bought a large sandwich to share, which resulted in leftovers) 2: Mom nags at Dad. 3. Dad is silent, but later explodes. 4. Mom apologizes, and soon the cycle repeats.
When my mom calls to tell me … Read more
So my girlfriend says I don’t give her enough attention. Her reasoning is that because my family stays up so late I never facetime her and only when it’s convenient for me (my family and I hang out nightly from roughly 7pm till 11). I constantly text her throughout the day even when I’m working but my family and I enjoy being together. She lives about an hour away so I only see her weekly. What am I doing wrong?
Dear Random Dude,
When expectations aren’t being met, it’s good to define them. This goes for … Read more
How do I handle my lazy supervisor? We are working from home during quarantine and I can’t quit my job now but it’s getting extremely difficult to keep working with someone who lays most ,if not all, of the work on me and does the bare minimum. She delegates 75% of the work to me, logs off, and then tells me to just complete the remaining 25% even though she has done absolutely nothing the entire day. She’s so lazy that sometimes she doesn’t even check her emails and tells me to do it instead. It’s been going … Read more
This may be an odd question for your advice column but I figured it was worth a shot of asking.
My closest guy friend lives across the country from me in California and we’ve been friends for 10+ years now. We met when I was 16 and he was 18. We have never formally met in person but we’ve talked on the phone and face timed tons of times. I can talk to him about anything with no fear of judgement.
He was in a relationship for 6 years and engaged to the girl but broke off the … Read more
My husband has a friend who is very sheltered and comes off as judgmental at times. My parents divorced when I was younger and did not grow up rich but was not poor either. This friend often comments on where I grew up in a negative way. He recently sent my husband an article about the negative impact of divorce upon children and upon children when they grow into adults. There were many impacts listed (most negative), one which stood out to me being how divorce can have a negative impact upon the child’s own marriage when they … Read more
I was with my ex-boyfriend for a year and a month. He struggled with alcoholism for the majority of that time but we still had a good relationship. He broke up with me in January. Right out of rehab to focus on sobriety. Since then I have struggled with the breakup. Around Easter he relapsed and I took him in my home to help him. He’s been in a sober home since.
He now has relapsed again. And his mom has told me he is in a new relationship. I am struggling and I need some advice on … Read more
Hello – my husband has had a friend since elementary school (we’re in our 40’s now) and we have been friends with him and his wife as two married couples for years. Over these years, the wife (we’ll call her C) has been extremely rude to me, cutting me off when trying to speak, talking down to me, talking trash about my husband and children.
I had enough and told my husband I didn’t want to hang out with them anymore. This has caused a major rift in my marriage. My husband misses the “good ‘ole days” where … Read more
My identical twin is engaged and I don’t want her to marry this guy. They got engaged last year and were planning on getting married this year but have postponed due to COVID-19. I was in a state of dread but resignation (sort of) about the whole thing, but with the postponement, I’ve had this feeling that it could be giving me time to prevent what I think is a mistake.
My twin and I have always been close. We lived together after college, but then I went away to grad school (about 4 years ago) and after … Read more
My boyfriend has body dysmorphia and will often message me negative comments about his body. I want to make him feel heard but also support him, and not play into what his dysmorphia may be saying. When he messages me things like, “my man boobs are huge” or “I look like a fat monster,” I just don’t know what to say.
In the past when I denied it (he doesn’t have man boobs, for example), he got mad at me and said I was lying. Yes, he is a little chubby, and he’s also really cute and funny … Read more
I had a falling out with someone I considered a close friend and I have had so much trouble coping with it. Three months ago, I asked my friend for a favor. She declined & then proceeded to tell me that I was not someone she considered a friend. She was upset I had not followed up with her earlier in the year regarding a trip she was planning with me, her roommate, & some other mutual friends. I apologized & took ownership for not following through with her trip plans. I felt terrible knowing that she was … Read more