Dear Hailey…(Advice Column)

Welcome to Dear Hailey, the advice column of Thoughts, Dots, and Tots! For life’s difficult problems that you just can’t figure out, submit them to me in the form below and I’ll give you some back up.

This is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for medical advice. While I am a counselor (LMSW), please consult YOUR health care professional if you have questions or concerns about your physical and/or mental health. I am not liable for any action you take as a result of reading answers provided to others or to you directly. By filling out this form you are consenting to having your question posted on this page. If your question contains  personally identifying  information I will remove it or change it to protect your privacy.

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Answered Questions:


Advice Column: Response to Wish I was a Stay at Home Mom

How can you get over having to be a working mom/breadwinner when all you really want is to be a Stay at Home Mom? Sincerely, Wish I was a stay at home mom     Dear Wish, As mothers, we do what is right for our kids. I’m currently a working mom myself, and it…

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Advice Column: Will My Anxiety Return After Pregnancy?

Dear Hailey, If you had anxiety and depression prior to getting pregnant and breastfeeding and then those things went away with the hormone changes from pregnancy and breastfeeding, are you destined to get back all of the yucky feelings when you wean and your hormones go back to ‘normal’? How does one keep that from…

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Response to Worried New Mom

Dear Hailey, Is he “adjusting to fatherhood” or is it abuse? Basically, the crux of my question for advice is that people minimise family violence but it’s also likely to escalate while a woman is pregnant and just after a baby is born. I was told that my husband was just adjusting to being a dad,…

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Response to Anxious Mama

Dear Hailey, Do you have any suggestions for dealing with getting divorced and having the ex partner use your anxiety for an excuse as to why you shouldn’t be allowed as much custody? Having to prove that the anxiety is caused by the ex partner and not parenting, when they are unwilling to see or…

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Advice Column: One Overwhelmed Mama

  Dear Hailey, I need some help/advice! My husband helps with cooking and cleaning, but doesn’t help me with our baby (well, not very much at least). He seems to think out son (who is 7.5 months old) prefers me, and so I believe part of it is he’s nervous to be solely responsible for…

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How to Tell Your Child That Their Pet has Died

  Dear Hailey, I need advice on how to handle a tough situation. My 5 year old daughter has SPD (and I believe anxiety as well) and I have very bad anxiety (that I am working on managing better). We are currently out of town visiting my family (we left early Thursday morning and will…

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Self-Care Ideas (Other than taking a bath)

  Dear Hailey, Can you give ideas for self-care for exhausted mommas besides the typical take a hot bath or get a pedicure. Sometimes I don’t know what to do for myself but am feeling burnt out. Exhausted   Dear Exhausted, Self-care is essential, and that’s awesome that you recognize the importance of it. Not…

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Always the Sister Type

Dear Hailey, I’m in my upper 20s and have been in several relationships, but guys always end up telling me that they “love me like a sister” or that they don’t love me THAT way- that is, the romantic way. I am very feminine and I definitely don’t have a problem expressing my feelings of affection through words…

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Broken Trust

Question on how to rebuild trust Dear Hailey, Advice on being able to trust again after my trust has been broken? Untrusting Dear Untrusting, Having our trust broken sucks, there’s no getting around that. We pour our heart and soul into someone, only to have it smashed. But we do ourselves a major disservice if…

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Dear Worried…

In response to “Worried” Dear Hailey, Before I get to the actual question, you need some background information first. Back when my husband was a child his life changed in an instant when a drunk driver crashed into his parents car killing most of his family. His older brother and him were the only 2…

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 Crisis Resources

I will refer you to the below resources or to 911 if you are suicidal or in crisis.