Sometimes we have days where we get to take care of everyone else. But somedays we have days where we are the ones who everyone else has to take care of. I had one of those days this weekend. This called my attention to something I do regularly that is harming my self-worth.
It’s been a crazy snowy winter this year here in Idaho. I ran a few errands by myself, because my hubby was at work. I don’t know about you, but I’m proud when I leave the house by myself with the baby. (It’s a lot of work!) Then I realized that I wasn’t ready to go home yet, so I thought a nice drive in the country would relax me, right?
I drove around for a while, looking at the beautiful scenery, the gorgeous farm houses, and then I decided I should turn around. I drove into a dead end street, and turned around…and found myself stuck. I rocked it forward and back in reverse and drive, and nothing helped. A very nice lady was shoveling her walk nearby, and came over and attempted to dig me out, but nothing helped. I called my fantastic in-laws, and they came right over and pulled me out.
I was mortified. I didn’t feel deserving of help. I should have been more observant, and noticed how deep the snow was in the street, and what was I even doing driving around in the winter in the first place with my infant? How irresponsible was that? What kind of parent am I?
I was thinking about this afterwards, and when we go to help someone, do we think about how deserving they are? Do we think about the better choices they should have made, and then decide to not help them if they could have chosen better?
My husband is a nurse, and a large percentage of people come in the hospital as a result of poor choices, whether it be over a lifetime that results in bad health, or poor choices that result in injury. Does he evaluate if they could have chosen better, and then decide not to help them? Of course not, that would be ridiculous. As a counselor, when I work with people, do I decide whether they are deserving of help and proceed accordingly? No way! The fact is, most of us don’t deserve help, but people give it to us anyway.
We all make mistakes. I found myself stuck in the snow with my baby because I was a stir crazy mom who just wanted to be out of the house for a few extra minutes. Not because I was endangering my child, that was not my goal. So why was I treating myself so unkindly? The fact is, most of us engage in this self-destroying practice multiple times a day.
One of my favorite pieces of advice is that when you find yourself engaging in negative self talk, to think about whether it is something you would say to your loved one. There is no way that I would talk to my husband, son, or any of my other loved ones in the way that I talk to myself. So why do I treat myself so poorly? It’s something that can eat away at your self-worth, and it is something I am working on. I am working on replacing each negative thought with something positive. I encourage you to do the same. This is one step towards improving your self-worth.
I’m grateful for the kindness of friends, the kindness of family, and also the unexpected kindness of strangers. Please remember, you are deserving of help. You are deserving of love. You are worth so much more than you know. It is OK to need help. Remember that.