Advice Column: Pre-natal Depression and Marital Struggles

Dear Hailey, I’ve been having a difficult time with my marriage. Mainly I’ve been feeling unhappy a lot and I had tied it to postpartum depression except that it had started a couple months prior to the delivery and had been a lot of ups and downs ever since. On the worst days I want out of the marriage but then I stress about our kid, almost kids plural. On the best days I feel like it’s going to be okay but I feel like I have lost so much emotion toward my husband and I don’t know how to… Read more
Posted in Q&A

Advice Column: Response to Wish I was a Stay at Home Mom

Dear Hailey,

How can you get over having to be a working mom/breadwinner when all you really want is to be a Stay  at Home Mom?

Sincerely,

Wish I was a stay at home mom

 

 

Dear Wish,

As mothers, we do what is right for our kids. I’m currently a working mom myself, and it can feel absolutely heart wrenching to drop my sweet boy off at daycare. But for our family, it is what is right for us and (at least for the time being) it’s what needs to happen.

The first step to coming to terms … Read more

Posted in Q&A

Advice Column: Will My Anxiety Return After Pregnancy?

Dear Hailey,

If you had anxiety and depression prior to getting pregnant and breastfeeding and then those things went away with the hormone changes from pregnancy and breastfeeding, are you destined to get back all of the yucky feelings when you wean and your hormones go back to ‘normal’? How does one keep that from happening?

Sincerely,

Concerned

 

Dear Concerned,

Hormones and pregnancy are very unpredictable. Some women find their hair is a different texture or color after pregnancy. I myself had adult acne that cleared up during pregnancy and never returned even after we weaned from breast feeding. … Read more

Posted in Q&A

Response to Worried New Mom

Dear Hailey,

Is he “adjusting to fatherhood” or is it abuse? Basically, the crux of my question for advice is that people minimise family violence but it’s also likely to escalate while a woman is pregnant and just after a baby is born. I was told that my husband was just adjusting to being a dad, and my support network had all but broken down.

 

Worried New Mom

*The original question was much longer, but much of the content in the original question posed was removed due to its personally identifying nature. Most personally identifying questions are answered privately, … Read more

Posted in Q&A

Response to Anxious Mama

Dear Hailey,

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with getting divorced and having the ex partner use your anxiety for an excuse as to why you shouldn’t be allowed as much custody? Having to prove that the anxiety is caused by the ex partner and not parenting, when they are unwilling to see or hear this.*

Anxious Mama

*Personally identifying portions of this question were removed to protect the identity of this individual.

Dear Anxious,

While it is deplorable and unfair of him to use your anxiety against you in a custody battle, your best option would be take … Read more

Posted in Q&A

Advice Column: One Overwhelmed Mama

 

Dear Hailey,

I need some help/advice! My husband helps with cooking and cleaning, but doesn’t help me with our baby (well, not very much at least). He seems to think out son (who is 7.5 months old) prefers me, and so I believe part of it is he’s nervous to be solely responsible for the baby. But it is EXHAUSTING to constantly watch our son and never get a moment to myself. How can I help foster their relationship, and broach this topic with my husband without offending him or making him think I’m not grateful for what he … Read more

Posted in Q&A

How to Tell Your Child That Their Pet has Died

 

Dear Hailey,

I need advice on how to handle a tough situation. My 5 year old daughter has SPD (and I believe anxiety as well) and I have very bad anxiety (that I am working on managing better). We are currently out of town visiting my family (we left early Thursday morning and will be returning Saturday the 8th laaaate at night) and have a pet sitter staying at our house watching our dog, cats and guinea pig. I got a series of calls and messages from the sitter today about our piggie seeming “off” which eventually led up … Read more

Posted in Q&A

Self-Care Ideas (Other than taking a bath)

 

Dear Hailey,

Can you give ideas for self-care for exhausted mommas besides the typical take a hot bath or get a pedicure. Sometimes I don’t know what to do for myself but am feeling burnt out.

Exhausted

 

Dear Exhausted,

Self-care is essential, and that’s awesome that you recognize the importance of it. Not everyone likes baths, and if you don’t like them they certainly aren’t going to be a good self-care activity. And let’s face it, is it really relaxing to take a bath when our kids are either in the bathroom with us or banging on the … Read more

Posted in Q&A

Like a Sister (Response to Always the Sister Type)

Dear Hailey,

I’m in my upper 20s and have been in several relationships, but guys always end up telling me that they “love me like a sister” or that they don’t love me THAT way- that is, the romantic way. I am very
feminine and I definitely don’t have a problem expressing my feelings of affection through words or actions, and I have been kissed before- but later he said he didn’t feel that way about me even after we’d discussed marriage. So I’ve coined myself as having what I call “Little Sister Syndrome” because that’s how guys see me. … Read more

Broken Trust

Question on how to rebuild trust

Dear Hailey,

Advice on being able to trust again after my trust has been broken?

Untrusting

Dear Untrusting,

Having our trust broken sucks, there’s no getting around that. We pour our heart and soul into someone, only to have it smashed. But we do ourselves a major disservice if we close ourselves off from trusting again. Vulnerability is a tricky thing, because it is one thing that makes us human and allows us to love and experience the world. However, it can be hard to make ourselves vulnerable after that was the very thing … Read more